Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
