i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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