Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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