Do vagina's smell?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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