I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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