My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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