I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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