I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize