woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
