I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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