I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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