Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize