i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
