yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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