you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
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Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
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I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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