absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
