so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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