butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
