chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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