We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
