you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
