I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
