you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
