Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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