But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Houston, we have a squirter
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
