I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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