your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize