We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
