well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
