And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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