WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
