I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
