Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
