My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
