During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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