i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
