Only a mothe r could love this liver
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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