You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
