The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
