Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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