i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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