my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
the gays at disneyland are vicious
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
