I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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