So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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