let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
