Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
