sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
