Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
