My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
