I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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