Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
