I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
