So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
