There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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