Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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