forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can you bring me the toilet please
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
