I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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