Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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