That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Can Purell be used as lube?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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