I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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