i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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