This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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