I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize