Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
