So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
